A Week Since I left Arizona

It has been officially a week since I flew out of the Phoenix airport. This week has felt long. I have found that is what happens whenever I begin something new; the first while feels long and then as more time passes, it goes quicker. I had a teacher tell me one time that is because you have more time to compare it to. That is why the older you get, the faster time goes. When your 5 you only have five years of life as a reference but when you're 55 you've got 50 years more than when you were 5.
That was a random tangent. I have been processing a LOT as I'm sure you can imagine. It is hard to know where to start or what exactly to write about. I could list out everything I've done and tell you in detail about all the tours I went on yesterday. I got to see some awesome sites in Orvieto! They took us to the local theater and up a clock tower. AMAZING view from up there. We also saw the duomo (which is I believe cathedral in Italian) and I learned that Orvieto has lots of underground caves. They took us to the caves and we got a history lesson on how to make olive oil. I don’t remember much.

But through all this sight seeing, I bring myself. What I mean by that is I bring not just the physical me but my thoughts, emotions, perceptions, insecurities, worries, hopes, dreams. I think the main thing that stands out for me from this past week is my self insecurity and self perception. I find myself constantly comparing myself to other girls. I’m talking about looks. Personality too, but mostly looks. How do I match up? Oh she dresses better, but I’m prettier. Or she is so skinny, I’m jealous. You know, stuff you’d expect. I’m not sure yet what I’m going to do with these perceptions. When stuff like this becomes a major issue for me I ‘pounce’ on it right away. I cannot live in a world where I hate myself. I’ve tried, it doesn’t work.

I had my first digital photography class today. I found out quickly that I did not buy the appropriate camera. I only have a basic point and shoot and we were supposed to get a fancy smansey camera. Oh well, the professor said he’d work with it because we are in Italy and don’t have a way to get me another camera.


For this class we are going to generate a collection of photos that have a theme. He didn’t ever use the word theme but that is the way I understand the assignment. I found myself at times going into panic mode. What if my pictures are horrible? What if my idea is terrible? In fact, I don’t know where to start with an idea. I feel as though my imagination went out the window after 13. So, aside from feeling 10 steps behind the rest of the class with my lackluster camera, I also feel little to no creative juices. We will see where this leads…